We live in a world where we have access to a seemingly unlimited amount of information. It's right there at our fingertips yet we still struggle to make changes that we think should be easy.
And in this world I am often asked why I cost so much when people can just "look it up on google" or I am asked "why can't you just tell me what to do and I'll go do it".
Apparently it is 'easy for me'. But stop for a minute and remember that it might seem easy for me to 'know' something that is because of the amount of effort time and money I have put into my expertise, experience and qualifications. So how can I simply give that out as simple information?
People do really believe that all they need to make a transformation is the information. But sadly, it doesn't work like that.
I am in the business of transformation and as my brilliant coach told me in a brain storming activity this week - transformation is not information.
In my business this means no matter what information I pass to you or that you think you need me to tell you, this will not bring about a transformation. And if it brings any change then it's not going to be lasting change - it's just a change.... like when you change your mind, or change your dress before you head out.
It's not a permanent 'thing'.
So what is transformation all about?
Here are 5 things to consider:
1. Positive Future Outlook The word transformation has a positive meaning, it doesn't just mean doing things differently but implies things will change for the better.
For my client this means that the things they will do differently have to go deep below the surface. It can't just be a set of rules to follow that worked for somebody else. Your future is not going to be the same as anybody else so your plan needs to take that into account.
2. It's Irreversible Once something is transformed there should be no going back to the way things once were. Once a transformation has taken place everything is different.
For my client this means their whole way of thinking will change and the amount of space occupying their brain in regards to diets and how they look will be taken over with things that have a deeper and more fulfilling meaning to them. They will have space to grow into the person they want to be.
3. It's Inconvenient Transformation is inconvenient. It’s messy, uncomfortable, unknowable. You’re supposed to find lots of things that you had no idea were going to be problems. You may find things that you thought were lost, and you may find it hard to accept there are things you will never discover - things that you hoped for.
So for my client, if things are simple, certain, knowable and straightforward – then they’re probably not doing something transformational. They are coming to me because they don't know, they tried simple, they tried what they knew and so far it has not served them well.
For anybody reading this who has struggled with years of yo-yo dieting you will probably be doing lots of 'something simple and certain' which would call itself a diet or maybe a 30 day plan..... and you would probably need another one in the future to undo everything that happened after you completed your last 30 day plan or diet when somehow it didn't work out for you.
4. It's Personal Transformational efforts require us to think carefully about how we need to shift our own habits and behaviours. It requires feeling, reflection and personal growth & development. People often approach transformational activity as an admin exercise with a rigid plan to follow and stick to, with targets to hit and special tricks to meet the demands without thinking about the impact on their true self.
Transformation requires living your way towards the future you are aiming to create not simply being told what to do.
For my client this means that they are not just paying for wishful thinking. They are working through a set of obstacles personal to them which need to be explored, broken down and built back up. If it's not personal to you then it's simply not transformational.
5. It's Not a Points System Transformation needs to happen within a context set up to actively encourage exploration of ideas, experimentation and personal reflection.
The way we work, what we value, how we’re going to respond to the future as it emerges – none of these are in meal plans, recipes, rigid routines, mantras or systems like counting points or coding foods.
Transformational efforts need to be consistently nurturing the self, the process and your environment to aid in living your way to the future.
The best analogy I can think of is to lead like a gardener laying fertile ground – and then nurturing, tending, growing, and responding to your climate and context as it changes.
So the next time you want to buy into a '30 days to healthy', or a meal plan that worked for your friend or colleague or just a new diet that you have seen advertised on TV - just remember how many you have tried before and how many ultimately "worked". Have any of them transformed you into the person who could stop chasing the dream and start living it?
If you want to finally take control, stop dieting, start living and find confidence so you can do away with guilt, shame and confusion and if you want to free your mind to focus on what matters instead of constantly trying and worrying about how you cannot shrink your body then contact me and we can have a chat about what I can do for you.
Literally end your lifetime of yo-yo dieting, end the binges, end the depression and anxiety. That's more important than that number on the scale eh?